Monday, December 8, 2008

A new chapter begins.

I just got home from dropping my little brother off at the airport. Despite the fact that he is now 19 years old and hovers a good three or four inches above me, I don't think I'll be able to stop referring to him as my "little" brother. It just isn't happening. I'm bummed that his time spent in NYC has come to an end, but I will see him again soon when I fly back to Austin at the end of January.

I feel like so much in my life has (and is about to) change since the moment I saw my friends and family trudging up the stairwell to our apartment one week ago from tomorrow. My last four months of life in New York have been consumed with feelings of isolation, independence, loneliness, excitement, homesickness, happiness, encouragement, passion, exhaustion, the list goes on! Although I have been waiting for Kate, Robby and Matt to arrive for such a long time, I must say that actually having people around me twenty four hours out of the day was quite an adjustment! I have been alone for so long that it felt strange to be social and remember what having friends felt like. When I was coming back from dropping Rob off at the airport just a little while ago, it felt abnormally good to ride the subway back to the apartment by myself. I have developed an intimate relationship with myself. When you're forced to spend so much time internalizing everything, exploring things on your own and adjusting to a new place, you begin to crave that alone time. Solitude is the one thing I have come accustomed to here. From that solitude, I have developed a new sense of my self and a sense of independence. However, I have simultaneously lost (but have not forgotten about) an important part of what makes up "Tara"....the ability to be a good friend and to get out of my comfort zone. My mission for the next few weeks is to become adjusted to this new way of life....a new life filled with Katie-kate as not only my friend but my roommate. It seems like such a simple idea, but for someone who has spent so much time alone, it will definitely be an unexpected adjustment.

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