Saturday, January 22, 2011

Motherly instinct

Quinn contracted a nasty nasty virus called RSV. It is most common in babies, elderly people or anyone with a weakened immune system. At first it started out as a runny nose which I quickly dismissed since Quinn is teething and her nose was running right before her first two teeth popped out. Quickly, the infection began to worsen and she developed this horrendous deep cough and fevers that wouldn't break. We took her to the doctor on Monday and they tested her for all kinds of things that came back negative. Our pediatrician decided to test her for this virus and it came back positive. She was incredibly dehydrated, her little legs were white, her face was one giant crust. She couldn't keep her eyes open. It was so upsetting. The doctor told us to really watch Quinn's breathing and symptoms closely because the virus quickly develops into pneumonia. Ahh! Six restless nights and emergency room visits later, Quinn is doing a little better today. She has been on a breathing treatment machine at home since yesterday morning which is helping to open up her lungs and help her get all of the mucus and awfulness out. I don't think I'll ever forget how panicky I felt when she would cough so hard and choke herself, unable to breathe for a few tense moments. I have been so exhausted with only an hour or two of sleep here and there each night. Yesterday I tried to get my shift covered but I was told that I had to come was definitely a test to my motherly instinct. I was having such a hard time potentially leaving Quinn at home and being gone all night (which is when she gets worse) and I was doing math all morning trying to figure out if I could just not show up to work. But then the moral side of me kicked in and I couldn't leave the girls at work in a bad place. I went to work afterall, feeling so achey and sick with a barely-there voice. Feeling like such an awful mother. Thankfully, one of my coworkers was so nice to come in for me and I spent the rest of the night with Mike and Quinn...all of us up until 1am, and then 2am, and then 5am, and then 7am. It's funny what getting no sleep and worrying constantly can do to you....I feel like I did when I had pneumonia in NYC two years ago. So exhausted. I called in to work today, I just couldn't do it. I feel so anxious when I think about the repremanding that I may face come Monday. A part of me really doesn't care though. Quinn comes first, being a mom comes first. It's the first time since being a mom that I've really understood what that truly meant.

Quinn in my lap at the doctor's office.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Happy 2011!!

Whew, it has been over a month since I have written on my blog. That's ridiculous, but I have a good excuse....THE HOLIDAYS!!

Check this progression out:

I started the new job and finished training right before black Friday. Then came Thanksgiving - mmmm, turkey. Christmas season rolled in and so did my Mom, Mike's mom and Dad, his two brothers, brother's girlfriend, Mike's cousin and grandma. My birthday (Quinn had a fever all day) but it was fun overall! Christmas!! more working. New Year's Eve - worked. New Year's Day - worked some more and everyone left back to Florida and BAM now it is JANUARY 9TH. Crazy!!

In the midst of all the hub-bub around our house, we had a beautiful first Christmas with Quinn and all of our family. Our house looked like Santa and his elves exploded inside of it and we were the most decked out house on the block. Quinn was showered with so many gifts (One word: TEDDY RUXBIN!) The best gift for Mike and I was to spend Christmas with all of the family.

Some favorite moments from December:

-Quinn's Ugg boots and Christmas dress
-Cuddling up outside in front of the chiminea and drinking beer.
-Feeling stealthy one night when I hopped into the car with Mike, his dad and Sean with the saw at midnight. We quickly drove down the road in the dark to hi-jack some fire wood from the forest down the street. Our entire trunk was loaded up!!!

-Quinn's new fish tank that Mike and I bought her for Christmas.

-Quinn drinking a SLURPEE! (Thanks a lot, Grandpa!) Haha.

- Grandma Diane and Mike discovering that Quinn laughs when you say "Chamomile" and "Ginseng".
-Quinn riding shot gun at the animal drive-through park

-Mike and I making our first purchase together - A new car!!!!
-Quinn's new car!!!!
- Rupert climbing up the Christmas tree and getting stuck.
-Rigby eating three mini cheese cakes and being in a food coma for approximately three hours.
-My mom kicking all of our butts in the game Apples to Apples!!!
-Quinn's first time meeting Santa!
-Jess and Steve spending Christmas Eve with our family.
-Turning 26!
-The awesome x-mas eve dinner set up in the garage that Susan made (hey, we don't have a lot of room!) and everyone eating dinner with paper crowns on.
-Quinn's excited face while we unwrapped gifts Christmas morn.

-Our day trip with everyone to Mt. Bonnell

-Uncles playing with babies!

-Mom and Robby hanging out and playing.

-Always waking up to people in the living room and fresh coffee! We miss that.

We were sad to see everyone leave and sad to return to normalcy. Since then, it has been long work weeks and nights filled with sewing and Quinn-cuddling. I have moments of daydreaming constantly....wishing I could stay home with her each day and work on my own design projects instead of working so hard (and what am I REALLY contributing after-all?) for another company.

2011 will be about new opportunities and exploring my entrepreneurial skills as much as possible. Cheers to new endeavors and Quinn never being able to say that her parents weren't around enough to help her learn and grow.

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