Thursday, February 17, 2011

When will we get to slow down?

We have been asking eachother that question so often lately. You would think that being as tired as we are would make the days drag by, but it doesn't help life slow down. It just helps you get through each day in a foggy, heavy-headed trance. Each morning, my first concious moments begin by listening to Quinn cry from the room across from ours as I drift in and out of sleep. I'll stare at the alarm clock, watching the minutes fly by. 4:00am, 4:37am, 5:02am, 5:30am, 5:46am. My thought process is always, "Oh, awesome, it's only 4:00. I still have a ton of time to keep sleeping." But before I know it, it's time to get up and get ready for work. Sometimes if there is time before I have to leave, we will all pile into the bed (including Rigby) and play together, grasping onto those few fun moments with the baby before we have to start working. Lately, Quinn is loving her newfound ability to stand up. She climbs on top of us as if we are little ladders, so proud of herself once she pulls herself up into a standing position on top of our stomachs or other random places on our bodies. She is interested in everything, always wanting to stick her curious findings into her mouth. She is fascinated by my hair. She grabs onto it and tries to eat it. We are working on being gentle when we pet the animals. She is full-blown running in her walker and crawling across the house. She talks like crazy, always chatting away!

And then I go to work...and it seems like forever that I'm away. And when I am away, I feel lost and uninspired. I feel stagnant and unencouraged. I miss when I used to learn something new each day. When the people I looked up to were incredible mentors who taught me valuable skills that improved not only the value of my work but the also the value in my life. I miss inspiring others and feeling like I make a difference.

If I had that kind of meaning back in my life, it wouldn't be so hard to be away from my family.

And after going through the world each day in a foggy daze, with nothing exciting to snap me out of it until I get home and get to love on my still seems to be going by so quickly. Quinn is developing so fast and it reminds me that I am missing out on so much. I have a few hours each day when I get to watch her turn into the blossoming girl that she is becoming and I think about all of the moments that I miss and can never get back.

Mike is working so hard on his business so that he can support us and help us lead a fantastic life. For the past few weeks it has been constant 16 hour days. Traveling across the state of Texas or trapped in his has been tough for everyone but I am so proud of him for working so hard and diligently. I wish I had something that felt as meaningful, productive and worthwhile.

Having a child has completely turned my throught process around. A year ago I would have been fine with the place that I'm at. But these days, I just want to be around her to inspire her and develop her as much as I can, and if I'm not with her, I want to be doing something that will inspire me and develop me as much as possible so in turn I can pass that all onto her some day.

Ahhh. Tara. What to do, what to do.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Texas Next Top Designer

One of the dresses that BQ and I designed for our clothing line Bonjour Biqui was featured in a fashion show held at Zouk in downtown Dallas last month! The Dallas Observer photographed our yellow reversable bird dress. Here are a few photos.

And here is the dress reveresed...

We have our first round of interviews for the competition on March 5th in Dallas (which also happens to be Mike's b-day...sign of good fortune? MAYBE!) We are so excited to present our collection to the panel of judges! B and I are going to drive up there on the 4th so that we have the evening to get prepared, go over our presentation and get all of our looks ready for the big day. If we get through the first round of interviews and are invited back for a 2nd meeting, we will be just that much closer to winning $30,000 to start our own fashion line. I am keeping my fingers crossed! And if you have time, "Like" our facebook page!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Happy 7-months to Quinn!

....and I still can't believe I even have a baby. Haha! I wonder when that feeling goes away. Does it ever? It's an exciting/anxiousness/terrifying/incredible feeling that I am not sure I will ever get used to or be able to explain. I am having so much fun with her though. Her sixth month was one of my favorites so far. In just four short weeks she has developed so drastically and has turned into her own little person. A customer told me the other day that she sees qualities in her six year old's personality that were there when her child was an infant. Distinct only to her. So I am looking at all of the tiny things that Quinn does in a new light, embracing them and jotting them down so I can look back in six years to see if they were there in her early days.

Quinn has a charasmatic smile that is unique only to her. It is a crooked, open-mouthed, gumless smile that she beams always when I tend to be concentrating on something intently, like changing her diaper or struggling to get her noodley arm through a sleeve when we are running late to be somewhere. She looks up at me with her big doe eyes and makes that goofy smile. My intense focus suddenly turns into gushy loviness and I can never help but laugh right back at her. The same thing happens at night when we are doing our nightly bed-time routine. I fight to keep her in a swaddle. As soon as I get one arm locked in and am working on holding down the other one while I wrap her up like a burrito, she pushes with all of her might and breaks open the swaddle with full force. She then immediately flips onto her stomach, looks at me with that goofy smile and starts cooing, as if she wasn't just rubbing her eyes and crying moments earlier. As frustrating as this can be (especially after it happens six or seven times at three in the morning), I laugh every time. Often times, I laugh while I cry (out of exhaustion) but she knows how to get to me and it is so funny and new. It's like she does it on purpose when she knows I am about to reach my most fragile point. This goofy, pink gummy smile. I love it.

At seven months, Quinn does what Mike calls "The Italian Lady", where she jabbers loudly making loud "AYAYAYAYA" sounds while she flails her arms about and blows rasberries, usually smacking some kind of plastic object against something hard.

She can sit in a high-chair at restaurants and loves being a part of our dinner time. She is really interested in eating and wants to try everything we are munching on. She stuck a bread stick in her mouth at Olive Garden the other night, haha. She is so well-behaved and loves people watching. She was flirting with some guys in business suits sitting behind us a few nights ago. She kept opening and closing her mouth at them as if she was silently saying "mama" over and over again. We couldn't make her stop!

There are so many things that blow me away every day. I wish I could be here to spend more time with her. Until that day comes, I am enjoying every moment I have with her. Here are a few videos of two huge six month accomplishments!

Fun pictures via Steven and Antonia!

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