Friday, January 23, 2009

Six hours and counting...

Dear Texas,

Get ready....I'm almost to you! My bags are packed and I'm busting at the seams to come home.

This vacation couldn't come any sooner.

Posts might be infrequent while I am away, but expect some pictures when I get back!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Just like honey

We knew that good news was coming our way today when the satellite radio at work started playing incredible songs right off the bat. (That NEVER happens!) Corporate approved Kate to take over my position when I leave on Feb 1st! Whoohoo! I'm so excited for her. SO excited! She is going to be incredible and I feel a huge sense of relief knowing that I am leaving my store in good hands.

On a side note....two days until I go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and... YESSSS OBAMA!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

It's official.

I'm definitely transferring to the store on the west side. As of February 1st, I'm the new manager there. I found out randomly yesterday during a corporate meeting where it was announced to all of the New York store associates before I ever had a chance to tell my staff that it was up in the cards in the first place. I felt so humiliated. I think my staff initially had to think that I had been scheming this whole transition from the beginning. I told them that the move had been mentioned but no definitive plans had ever been made so I didn't want to make a big deal about it. Well, that plan backfired!

I'll start at the next store next month, but until then I have a lot of thinking to do. I booked a flight home to Austin last night. I need to see my family and friends. I need to get out of here for a little bit and clear by head. It's going to be a stressful time period for the next few months while I get this new store running the way I would like it to. I'm counting the days until the 24th...ATX here I comeeeeeeeee.

Thursday, January 15, 2009


The beginning of this month has been a time-consuming one. I think the stressors of running my store mixed with the cold, dreary weather and the fact that I'm about to hit my six-month mark of living here has left me feeling exhausted and homesick. There have been a lot of changes happening at work. For a few months now there has been talk about moving me to another store. I've just started to take it with a grain of salt because they change their mind a lot...but I think this transfer might happen for real this time, and soon. The situation is bitter-sweet. I'm excited to go to a bigger, higher-volume store and feel grateful that they would offer me such a great opportunity. However, now that this transfer really might happen, I am finding it difficult to imagine leaving the store that I'm at now. I have dedicated so much of my time for the last five months to improving it. I feel such a bond with my staff and I finally have a clientele base and "regulars" who know me. Just today, one of my good customers came and brought me a present for no reason. It's difficult to imagine starting over again at another store. The other boutique is two-story and in a pretty prime shopping destination, so that is a plus. However, they are struggling in I would be walking into another situation that needs tweaking. I'll also really miss the girl who managed that location. I enjoyed our conversations and her constant encouragement greatly. It's difficult to see so many people leaving the company...and although I am so dedicated and passionate about my job, the amount of people quitting really makes me question the security of my own position and future here.

Tomorrow morning I have a meeting at the showroom downtown. Before that, though, I am booking my flight back home to Austin. I really need to see my brother, my parents, sweet Keith and all of my friends. I always appreciated the time I spent with my family and friends when I was in Texas. Being far away I find myself thinking about them non-stop. It is cliche' but very true when they say that you don't truly appreciate someone until they're gone. While I am walking or riding on the train or listening to music, I constantly replay specific moments or situations from my past in my mind and try to pretend like I am still experiencing them. I miss everyone so much. So much. Sometimes I wonder what I am really doing here. I enjoy my job and am happy to work in such a positive place each day. However, I want to grow my position into something more important....something that leaves me feeling excited and like an asset to this company. I felt like I could find that here in New York and I'm sure that I will be able to at some point, but I constantly reminisce about the people who love me in Austin...and how I risked so much for something that sometimes seems so unstable. What is more important? Being with people you care passionately about or working hard to try to make meaning out of your career? What matters in the end? In the very end? Everything would be so much better if everyone I loved lived here. Wishful thinking. Plus, why would they want to live here? It's 5 degrees outside at the moment! Wait, I know why they'd want to live here...because we have killer hot chocolate with marshmellows in our cupboard and a pretty mean selection of netflix movies.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Good god...

The good news is that, according to, human flesh doesn't freeze until it gets to -40 below zero. Sweet.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A snowy, frozen Central Park.

I had a great little stroll through the park today. I would have walked longer and farther but it was getting dark. Also, I may or may not have contracted a bit of frost bite on my exposed pieces of skin.

Subway adventures - Round 1

Yesterday, after schlepping around my apartment for about four hours, I convinced myself to head out to Brooklyn to walk around a bit. I waited for the G train for about twenty minutes until I came to the conclusion that it wasn't running (what's new?) So instead, I hopped onto the R to union square and transferred to the L train from there. On the way to union square, a woman and her little boy (maybe five or six years old) sat down next to me. I had my headphones on but after hearing her voice raise above my music, I turned my volume down so the writer in me could eaves drop. The woman looked to be in her mid-thirties, wearing a jean button-down shirt, a man's jacket, dirty jeans and a pair of boots. I could see the toe from one of her socks. I immediately felt like something was wrong with this situation because she was shaking, couldn't sit still for a moment, frantically moving about, shouting random things at people around us and kept telling the little boy to be quiet, even when he wasn't talking. I sat there for a little while, watching the little freckle-faced kid sneak sips of her coffee while she was trying to apply makeup. Every time she'd attempt to put on her lipstick, the train would slow down or speed up and the bright red lip color would go everywhere except for her mouth. The little boy watched intently and giggled each time it would happen, which made me want to laugh...but I had to keep my cool if I wanted to keep up the facade of listening to my ipod! At some point, the little boy (he looked like his name could have been something like Ralph, or maybe Shamus) asked his mother why they couldn't stay at daddy's house like they used to. Apparently the boy didn't like staying wherever they had last night. The woman told him that his dad was only using her "to sleep with" and that they were going to a new house where he could pretend that this man was his "Daddy". The only catch was that Shamus had to stay in the living room while she took "care of business". He told her that he missed school and she told him that school wasn't the "priority" at the moment. She would stand up and sit down. Stand up...take a few steps and then sit back down. He kept following whatever she did. She kept asking, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" and he kept distractingly replying "No..." while he stared at other people on the train. I couldn't make sense of any of what his mother was saying, neither could Shamus apparently. The entire time I just wanted to kidnap him. His tiny pants were filthy. Union Square approached quickly and I had to end my spygame. As I was leaving, I heard the woman say "that girl had cool boots" and the little boy said "YEAH!" really loud.

The rest of my day was plagued by what I witnessed on the subway. I felt so guilty for that little boy. He was dealt such a bad hand of cards at such a young age. I was probably about 10 years younger than his mom and I could have offered him such a better life. When I eventually arrived to Brooklyn, vintage shopping seemed so futile! I felt too guilty to do meaningless shopping while there were little kids out there who had to follow their mom from apartment to apartment while she was "taking care of business". Whatever that means. I know that this sort of thing happens all over the country, but a lot of times I feel that it is just so much more apparent in this city. I see adults struggling each day and yes, I feel bad for them. However, I know that there are resources out there that can help them. Whether they choose to take advantage of those resources is one thing....but as far as little kids - they are helpless.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

It sure is quiet in here.

Did I forget what it was like to spend four months in solitude? Apparently. It's 9:37 right now. I don't have to leave for work for another 23 minutes but I'm antsy and am debating on leaving early because I don't really know what else to do. Kate left for Hawaii yesterday so I have the apartment to myself for ten days. What do I do?! It's funny how we've developed these small routines in the morning. We both instinctively let out the same long, drawn out groans when we hear oneanother's alarm clocks go off in the morning. Whoever gets to the kitchen first on their way to the bathroom usually makes the first batch of early-morning coffee. Either cereal or oatmeal can be found in one of our bowls at all times during the AM and the itunes is crankin' with something different each day to get the morning rollin'. I did this ritualistic routine by myself today and I laughed out loud when I realized how funny I must look to the people who peep through our windows from accross the backyard. "Look at that girl in the sparkly dress and boots running around her apartment like a crazy person?"

I'm really excited to have tomorrow and Monday off. I want to walk around the city a little bit, even if it is ABSOLUTELY FREEZING. (It's supposed to snow again today!) Now that I think about it, it's my first weekend to myself in a very long time. I want to go do a little vintage shop window-browsing and take some photos. Speaking of photographs, check out this cool shot that Matt Genitempo took of my little brother during their road trip to NYC.

(This is the face that Robby always has when he gets woken up too early. Haha! Although we look identical, I don't think I genetically inherited that angry morning-face.)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

So this is the new year...

I really wanted to make a blog post on January 1st but things have been so non-stop and strange that I completely forgot about my blog! I wonder if I can somehow change the date on this thing...haha...

The new year started off to an odd one. I was expecting to breathe a huge breath of fresh-newyear-air, but instead I inhaled unfamiliar, overwhelming, weird air that didn't seem to promote the kind of change you hope for the night prior to January 1st when you create your new year's resolutions.

I've been here for five months now. Although they have gone by very quickly, a lot has happened in my life and in the lives of those near and far to me, too. While friends and family have been shuffling in and out of our apartment for the last few weeks, I have realized that the general consensus in my mind is that we are supposed to change for the better as we get older, wiser, more experienced in life. However, that isn't the case for all of us. Yes, some of us begin to learn more about ourselves and who we are as individuals, some of us stay the same because we're still unsure about what we want in life, some move in the opposite direction of where you'd hope we'd move and some of us strive for what we THINK is the right path but isn't. It was a difficult New Year's Revelation...but a necessary one.

My resolutions for 2009 differ in intensity and seriousness. Of course I have the typical "I'm going to go to the gym more, I'm going to try to budget my money more efficiently, I'm going to find a new hobby, etc etc." But in all seriousness, I really want to use 2009 to get to know myself a bit better...which I began doing during the tail end of '08. I want to work on how I handle new situations. Maybe I need to stop being so naive. I want to be more open with how I feel, whether I'm doing it verbally or via blog. I want to figure out the things that I am truly passionate about and develop those things into something more substantial. I guess I am on a little quest for meaning and knowledge this year (but who isn't?)....and I think that NYC is the perfect place to do it at this point in my life.

Wishing you all the best in 2009.
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