Saturday, July 18, 2009

Wowwww....

Almost two months without a single post! I'm so sorry, little blog!

I can say without any hesitation that these last few months have been some of the most crazy and eventful ones I've experienced in a long long time. You would think that such times would allow for some incredibly entertaining blog posts, but unfortunately I just couldn't bring myself to sit down at the end of the day and recap prior events because I was just too freakin' EXHAUSTED!

The craziness all began back in May, when my devastatingly handsome boyfriend (hehe!) moved up here from Baltimore. The state of the economy was a hard blow to his moral as he went to interview after interview (along with twenty other candidates each time) for a few months. It was pretty shocking for both of us that he couldn't find a job, as qualified as he is. Meanwhile, I have been spending 40-55 hours a week slaving a way at my behemoth of a store trying to get the staff efficient, the stock organized, inventory under control, operational tasks completed, coaching, etc etc etc. On our way home from our busy days, we'd get crammed onto the trains, pushed and bumped on the streets, scowled at while trying to make small talk with strangers...and I'm pretty sure that my excessive use of hand sanitizer has equipped my immune system with the ability to fight against ANY germ for the rest of my eternal existence!! (is that good or bad?!) Both of us have been entirely too stressed out by so many factors for a little too long for comfort. I looked at Mike one day while we were eating poorly made Subway sandwiches in Strawberry Fields on my lunch break. We were both sitting in silence, dressed up in our nice clothes watching squirrels run around on a small patch of uncommon grass while tourists rode around on bikes and took pictures. Suddenly it came to me, "Why are we here?...I mean, if we're so unhappy...why don't we just move somewhere else?" A little light bulb flashed above his head and we both looked at eachother considering our options. Later that day, I started contemplating where to go. We concluded that a move back to Austin made sense. It is a place where we already have friends and family and an easy town to get back on our feet and save some money. Soooooooooooo.....we're moving back to Texas at the end of the month!

Of course, I have been really nervous about leaving my job. It has been something I've worked so hard for for three years. I have struggled with my decision internally for quite some time. Tara #1, how could you possibly give up a life time opportunity to manage a designer store in Manhattan to go back to Texas and potentially wait tables? Oh Tara #2, you're so silly...don't you realize how much happier you'd be if you weren't crying and stressed out all of the time about sales figures and corporate visits?" I think that I had the same kind of feelings while I was in college. I remember thinking, "No job will ever make me feel as stressed out as I do right now!" Well, Betsey made me get pretty close, but I remember as soon as I graduated, I didn't care WHAT I was doing for a job, as long as I didn't feel that way anymore. Funny enough, I have the same feeling right now. Waiting tables would make my day if it meant that I didn't have to worry about a million of the thngs that I do on a daily basis here. It's funny how the situations can change but the lessons you learn are still the same...

I've also had cold feet about leaving NYC. It's an amazing, bustling city, that's for sure. But for me, I feel like the amount of time I put into working in order to make enough money to live here just isn't worth it in the long run. I feel like I sacrifice SO much of my "Tara" time to feel comfortable living here. For some, it's an easy exchange. They can work a million hours a day and still have it in them to go out at night and live happily. For me, though, I just need more substance to my life. I want a cute little house so badly, a nice yard to BBQ in and have fun with friends and family, I want to be able to hop in a car and listen to my OWN music and arrive to places on my OWN time, I want a dog that doesn't have to be small enough to cram into a change purse so I can take it on the subway..... there are a ton of things that make me happy in life that just aren't accessible here and I'll do anything I can to have those things back and share my time with the people I love so much.

So....that's where we're at!! Less that two weeks until we hop into our uhaul and head back to the good'ol (swelteringly hot! eeek!) midwest.

I hope that I didn't lose many of my readers once took a slight hiatus from writing on this thing. A bunch of my friends who i had no idea read this thing have been like "What is the DEAL!!!" BUT GUYS....seriously! I'm back and I know that I'll have more desire to write again once my life feels a little more substantial.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Tara

2 comments:

Julie said...

NYC Will Miss The Best "Betsey girl" ever!

Nicole said...

Go do your own thing, Tybo!

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