Thursday, July 23, 2009

Eight days left in NYC

...and I get cold feet about moving every 30-45 minutes during the day. Yesterday I sat in my typical lunch-eating spot in Central Park on my break. It was a beautiful day, people were smiling (good god!), tourists were excited to be in the city, I watched a rabid squirrel steal an elderly woman's roast beef sandwich...and there I was contemplating whether we were making the right choice about leaving. It's a scary thought, retreating back to a city that you left because you were feeling a bit unfulfilled at the time. But maybe "retreating" is the wrong word. I think "hauling ass" might be more acurately descriptive. I feel like I have worked really hard to keep up a high enough moral to live in this city on a daily basis. I've battled a lot of stress, whether it was stress that came from the store, how expensive everything is, the WINTER. I never experienced those kinds of emotions back in Texas. I was more concerned with dachsunds, sewing, school, that there was an IKEA twenty minutes away.... I never once felt panicked or unsure of myself. I spent a little while yesterday re-reading a lot of my older blog posts from when I first arrived here. There were many subtle signs of frustration and discouragement about living in this city. But gosh, the hardest part about being here is that literally you love it one week and you absolutely despise it the next. The drastic fluxuation of emotion that I have felt makes me feel bipolar sometimes. And it isn't just me...it happens to everyone I know who lives in one of these five boroughs. One minute you're happyvand feeling so lucky to live in such a bustling environment, the next you feel like you're batteling an angry depression monster that is trying to take your soul!!

Ahhhhhhg. I am really excited about going to Austin though. I think Mike and I will enjoy it (despite the 100 degree weather right now!!) and, if anything, it's a place for us to go to chill out for a bit, be around family and friends and enjoy life until we figure out what our next destination will be. I can't wait to figure out what will become of my career. I can't believe that I am going to be 25 in five months. This year has flown by. :(

On a side note, I'm leaving work early today and rushing back to Queens to meet Keith, the sewing machine enthusiast who works at the Singer store down the street. He is going to give me a lesson on my new industrial singer sewing machine that Mike and I are buying this afternoon (thanks mom!!!) :) :) We saw it while my mom was in town last week visiting. As we innocently sat at "Guacamole" eating the best burritos that the north east has ever seen, Mike spotted the Singer store next door and rushed inside to tell me that the sewing machine of my dreams was in the front window. I can't wait to start sewing again....and once I get back to Austin I'm going to take some more pattern making classes. I haven't touched my machine in over a year :( Superrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew, it's already 9! I better get ready for ze'old work. With that, I will leave you with the latest picture that Mike took yesterday of our gorgeous feline. Rupert, you're such a stud muffin.

1 comment:

julie said...

Love the "squirl", Love the new Singer,and as you know -I love that cat!

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